Woman to Women
Call me an SAHM
Giving credibility to her choice to be a stay-at-home-mom
SAHM (stay-at-home mom) – this is new to me. There have been so many articles and books written on the whether or not a woman should stay home to raise her children or pursue a career. As a SAHM, it seems so ironic that most of the backlash comes from other women, specifically other mothers.
What I find most disturbing, are the snide little comments poked in “pure fun” insinuating that my life must be rough. “Must be stressful baking cookies and watching soaps all day.” Most of the time I just look away and smile. I figure their comments don’t come from knowledge of what I am really doing all day but from the desire to find out and the inability to do so.
I do admit, on some days, the luxury of never changing out of my pajamas is a worthwhile bonus. While my husband fights traffic to make his way to the office, you might just find the kids and me spending our days playing in parks and picnicking with friends.
On the other side, there are days when I don’t know whether I have even used the bathroom or brushed my teeth, because I am running from one child to the next, catching projectile vomit and soothing upset tummies. Yet, those are the days that I cherish the most. Those are the days that I believe my children are molded by. They will have the comfort and security of knowing unconditional love and knowing the person they need the most is there for them.
I am certainly not in any way trying to insinuate that the working mother does not love her child unconditionally. I am merely stating that I have the luxury to actually be there for my children. My oldest daughter has just turned 6 and finished her first year of kindergarten. Taking a good look back at the last six years, I realize how quickly time goes by and how fleeting moments can be.
I must have married the right man, because most days he tells me how much he appreciates what I do and how lucky he is. While he faces the sometimes-harsh realities of bosses, deadlines and budgets, I am allowed to work in my own personal sanctuary. I feel like the lucky one. We may not have the vacation home or the yearly trips to the tropics. But I have something so much more important: the luxury of time. Time spent helping my kids grow, time holding them and, most of all, time making memories with all of us in them.
Ten years ago, when my husband and I started talking about having a family, I remember stating that I didn’t want to have children if I didn’t have the option to stay home to raise them myself. Because of that, we postponed having kids until I was in my early 30s. I, like a lot of other working women, thought I could do it all. Have the career, raise children, be a good wife, a good daughter and a good friend. Once our little family began to grow, I realized the smartest decision I had ever made was to give myself that choice. Wasn’t that what woman’s liberation was all about? The choice to have a career, stay at home or even to have children at all?