Enough time has passed I can look back on my divorce with some 20/20 hindsight (well at least I didn’t lose my mind in the process). Let’s be real, while you’re in the middle of the ongoing drama, dealing with hurt feelings, I can honestly say that I learned a lot—one must get something out of all that chaos. Divorce is a nightmare, let’s be real and not try to sugarcoat it. Having kids also complicates it even further because you are dealing with your own feelings of self-worth and failure (that’s a lame combination), all the while trying to navigate a peaceful solution. What fun!
It takes “adults” to be able to come out the other end in one piece and not blame each other for the falling apart of a marriage. I can tell you that deciding to divorce bites—at least in my case! It’s a hard decision to make and all that comes after is a process and a long journey—I would have rather gone on a journey to Six Flags. Trying to navigate the minefield is especially tricky since there are so many things going on at the same time. Can’t life ever be easy? It’s important to remember that blaming your husband for all that went wrong is not the solution—even though it feels great at the time! I had so many good zingers in the mix; I could become a comedy writer. I had to tell myself over and over that my kids come first and not to create a house of negativity. Considering the state of the divorce, it was hard, but we managed—I can pat myself on the back for that; my ex, too! What joy!
Dealing with the fallout is like walking on fire: it hurts, it’s raw and it takes a long time to heal. In order to get my aggression out, I joined a gym. There’s a comedy in the making. It certainly helps to see some hot guys working out and makes you realize the world is working at full capacity, even if it seems far away at the time. Nothing is more hilarious than trying to navigate the gym when you are in a state of rage, all the while hitting the boxing bag. I was so pissed that I nearly broke my hand hitting the bag, but luckily a very hunky man came over to show me what I was doing wrong—ahhhh, the world is looking up already!
And be sure to check out the new HBO series DIVORCE premiering Sunday, October 9th at 10pm with Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Haden Church. It’s the story of a very, very long divorce, the show follows Frances and Robert as they grapple with the fallout from their failing marriage, not just for themselves, but also for their children and friends, ranging from awkward public encounters to difficult private therapy sessions. You can find out more about DIVORCE on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.
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