Divorce: From Chaos to Tranquility

Divorce is a hard decision to make and all that comes after is a process and a long journey.

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Enough time has passed I can look back on my divorce with some 20/20 hindsight (well at least I didn’t lose my mind in the process). Let’s be real, while you’re in the middle of the ongoing drama, dealing with hurt feelings, I can honestly say that I learned a lot—one must get something out of all that chaos. Divorce is a nightmare, let’s be real and not try to sugarcoat it. Having kids also complicates it even further because you are dealing with your own feelings of self-worth and failure (that’s a lame combination), all the while trying to navigate a peaceful solution. What fun!

It takes “adults” to be able to come out the other end in one piece and not blame each other for the falling apart of a marriage. I can tell you that deciding to divorce bites—at least in my case! It’s a hard decision to make and all that comes after is a process and a long journey—I would have rather gone on a journey to Six Flags. Trying to navigate the minefield is especially tricky since there are so many things going on at the same time. Can’t life ever be easy? It’s important to remember that blaming your husband for all that went wrong is not the solution—even though it feels great at the time! I had so many good zingers in the mix; I could become a comedy writer. I had to tell myself over and over that my kids come first and not to create a house of negativity. Considering the state of the divorce, it was hard, but we managed—I can pat myself on the back for that; my ex, too! What joy!

Dealing with the fallout is like walking on fire: it hurts, it’s raw and it takes a long time to heal. In order to get my aggression out, I joined a gym. There’s a comedy in the making. It certainly helps to see some hot guys working out and makes you realize the world is working at full capacity, even if it seems far away at the time. Nothing is more hilarious than trying to navigate the gym when you are in a state of rage, all the while hitting the boxing bag. I was so pissed that I nearly broke my hand hitting the bag, but luckily a very hunky man came over to show me what I was doing wrong—ahhhh, the world is looking up already!

And be sure to check out the new HBO series DIVORCE premiering Sunday, October 9th at 10pm with Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Haden Church. It’s the story of a very, very long divorce, the show follows Frances and Robert as they grapple with the fallout from their failing marriage, not just for themselves, but also for their children and friends, ranging from awkward public encounters to difficult private therapy sessions. You can find out more about DIVORCE on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube

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Have you or a friend ever gone through a divorce? Tell me about it in the comments for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card. Each comment will automatically be entered to win.

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176 thoughts on “Divorce: From Chaos to Tranquility

  1. Another difficult aspect of divorce is that some of your family, friends, neighbors, and even the kids may not understand why you are getting divorced and that can be very challenging to deal with on top of dealing with the actual divorce itself.

  2. My parents got a divorce when I was 4 years old. It was a very difficult process but I am happy they did because they are both happily remarried. They were arguing all the time before they got a divorce.

  3. I have never gone through a divorce, but my friend has and it was a terrible breakup. He husband did not want the divorce and he made her life a living hell by fighting with her and causing problems with the kids. It was awful pain for her.

  4. I was divorced many years ago…without going into details, I have never regretted it. I later married a wonderful man who was the love of my life. He passed away in July

  5. I have had several several friends divorce and at first it was very stressful but in the end it was the right decision not everyone is suppose to run out and get married.

  6. Many of my friends were divorced after just a few years. My husband and I met at 19 and 20 and somehow we have stayed together through thick and thin. We've been married 12 years.

  7. I don't know any friends who have gone through a divorce, and I haven't either. My brother did, and it was definitely for the best. His ex wife was very selfish in general.

  8. I know a few people who are divorced but one of the most memorable was I had a close friend growing up and her parents often used her as a pawn but they were just as immature when married too so…I felt bad for her because it wasn't great for her either way.

  9. You're right–divorce is pretty rough. My parents divorced when I was in my teens, and I know it scarred me and my siblings. Then I went through a divorce myself in my twenties. That turned out to be a gift to myself, but it was painful and difficult at the time.

  10. oddly enough my friends and i haven't been through divorce. i don't really believe in divorce but my friends who have divorced parents have stayed married too. i think we have been lucky.

  11. I have been married 31 years but must admit there have been a few times where the thought of divorce has crossed my mind but we usually work through the issue

  12. My parents divorced when i was two. It did affect how I looked at my own relationships. I am just now getting secure with my 17 year marriage and realizing my path is not the same as my parents.

  13. I got divorced when I finally couldn't handle the controlling anymore. He controlled every aspect of my life and I wasn't allowed anything or any friends. We had a pretty simple divorce agreed with most things outside of court which made it much easier. We are better friends and get along with each other better now than when we were married.

  14. #SweepstakesEntry – comment

    I have never been married nor do I ever want to be so this will never be a problem. Seems like everyone I know is on their 3rd or 4th marriage- it boggles my mind

  15. My brother & his wife went through a divorce after 14 years of marriage. I can say it is definitely hard on the kids! I think it's important to remember to work together for your children!

  16. Not me, but my brother divorced after 26 years of marriage and 3 kids. It was not very nice,…she ran up the credit cards and so the judge gave them to her to pay since they were not supposed to charge during the time leading up to the court. She also replaced the bedroom door with a barn door.

  17. I went through a divorce and half of our friends thought I was being too hard on him. I hadn't shared the details of our difficulties so to an outsider it was hard to understand.

  18. I have about 10 years ago. We had no kids or property. Was with the guy for 6 years and as soon as there were rings involved he started cheating on me. It was the best move that I could have made for myself.

  19. Sometimes divorce is the best solution for the couple, that way they end the fights and if you children they can live in a better environment. In my case it was like this, my parents lived fighting and after they divorced each one took its way and today are much happier.

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