Woman to Women
Finding Your True Love
When serial dating doesn’t work
By: Cheryl M. Wenzel-Nelson, M.A.
Before I met my husband, I dated one man after another in attempt to find my Prince Charming. I didn’t trust that the man I would spend the rest of my life with would come along “when the time was right.” Until one day I accidentally met my husband, and the rest, as they say, is history.
In our taste-testing culture, we think that we can find true love by creating a menu of eligible men, sampling them and then choosing our future life partner. When this doesn’t work, we question ourselves instead of our approach.
Our parents, and generations before them, did not serial date. When they met someone they liked, they dated them. If it ended in marriage, great! If not, it just wasn’t their fate. They trusted that the right person would come along when the time was right. And from what I can tell, there was no shortage of marriages.
Today, many women believe they must actively search for true love by dating as many men as possible. They frequent bars and parties, ask friends to set them up on blind dates, attend weddings or bar mitzvahs, and join hiking clubs all in a desperate attempt to find a husband. When this doesn’t work, they feel like failures, or they marry the wrong man – once, twice, even five times.
Love isn’t something you can control. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take advantage of opportunities to meet new people. But life partners don’t come from a menu. If serial dating isn’t working for you, try this: Give fate a chance, and leave the taste-testing for wine, chocolate and cheese.