Lex on Sex
He Just Quit Wanting to Have Sex
My husband and I got married at age 25 (both of us). The first year the sex was great. Then he just quit! His idea of an active sex life was twice a year! Now, it wasn’t too bad until I started hitting my “prime”… then it caused trouble. I’m past that now, but would still like more than that. I’ve tried everything; sexy talk, sexy clothing, smells, anything I can think of. It makes me feel cheap to always have to beg for it! He is in very good health so there’s no problem there. Ideas would be appreciated.
In your list of everything you’ve tried you didn’t mention talking to him. What is he saying about his diminished sex drive? Second point: have you been brutally honest with yourself about whether or not there is an emotional reason for the lack of physical intimacy? If you can rule out a lack of nonsexual intimacy then you may want to look into seeking out a sexual specialist. We have all seen our fill of ED treatment commercials. If I hear the “Viva Viagra” jingle one more time I might have to give my TV the Elvis treatment. The thing is that there are other sexual dysfunctions; they are just not a pill away from resolution. THIS IS BY NO MEANS A DIAGNOSIS; you have to visit a specialist to rule out any number of things. But, for sure, being in good physical health does not exclude there still being something to diagnose.
The treatments for these types of disorders involve counseling and lots of relationship work. Some of the treatment’s focus will be on the nonsexual intimacy but some of the work will be between the sheets getting you some of the attention you’ve been waiting for.