If you’re a single gal in the dating scene, then you’re probably very familiar with this scenario: you go on a first date with a guy who’s nice, doesn’t seem to have any obvious deal breakers and does all the right things—picks you up, opens the door for you, is polite to the server, makes you laugh—but for some reason you’re just not feeling it.
You go on a second and third date to see if your feelings will change… but they don’t. Now, you’re left with the uncomfortable task of telling him you don’t want to see him again. What the hell do you say?
I had to do this recently, and not only was it awkward, but the guy I was rejecting didn’t let me off the hook easy. He wanted to know specifics – why did I not want to see him again? What did he do wrong? Would I just give him one more chance? Oh, was it painful, especially when I couldn’t verbalize why I didn’t like him. I just… didn’t.
It made me wish I had just avoided his texts to hang out until he eventually got the hint (something I’ve shamefully done more than a few times). But that’s bitchy, and I would be upset if someone were to do that to me.
So, what’s a girl to do – is there a “right” way to reject a guy? We asked real guys for their input. Here’s what they had to say:
“For crying out loud, just tell us you have a freaking boyfriend!” says Dan N., 29, a comedian from New York (but we have a feeling he’s joking.)
While Arash A., 28, from California says, “Logic is something that men have a tough time rebutting. If you say, ‘I think you’re a really great guy but we’re just on two different pages in our lives,’ a guy would have a tough time rationalizing being angry. And if he does, his buddies would likely give him a lot of grief for ‘acting like a little girl.’”
See what other guys had to say…