How Women View the Casual Hookup (And the Rules We Want Men to Follow)

Believe it or not, women are very capable of and enjoy casual relationships, as long as there are no gray areas.
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How Women View the Casual Hookup (And the Rules We Want Men to Follow)

Believe it or not, women are very capable of and enjoy casual relationships, as long as there are no gray areas.

-Faye Brennan

couple in bed

This may come as a shock to a lot of guys, but girls think about sex. A lot. Heck, we crave it – and when we go lengthy times without it, it drives us nuts. So, if we don’t have anyone special in our lives at the moment, we may be just as psyched as guys to travel down the road of casually hooking up with someone. By casual, I mean no commitment, no lovey dovey dates or phone calls, just straightforward, consistent sex with someone.

I know, shocking.

But how women approach casual hookups may be a little different than how guys approach them. Most women see it as a strictly physical thing – a fun means to an end that doesn’t require batteries and actually talks back (ok, that’s a bit harsh). Nine times out of ten, we genuinely want to keep it this way, and avoid the confusing, gray areas that come with real relationships. Men may find it hard to believe, but women with the right intentions really do enter casual hookups to just keep things light, fun, and sexy. We like to use Samantha Jones as inspiration.

Read Are Women Still Doing More Housework? Do We Mind?

In order to keep the casual hookup separate from a real relationship, we expect guys to follow a certain set of unspoken, yet extremely important rules. These are all common sense guidelines that keep the sex carefree and string-free. If he breaks these rules, he confuses the sh** out of us, and then the “casual” part flies out the window and suddenly, we don’t know what we’ve gotten ourselves into.

Since no guy (or girl) entering a casual hookup wants that, here are the rules we expect the guy to follow:

1. Don’t call or text unless it’s to hookup.
We don’t want to hear how your day was or worry about your big work deal that just fell through, because we have enough to worry about in our own lives. The reason a casual hookup is so liberating for most women is because we don’t feel the need—at all—to take care of the guy and his problems. He’s not a boyfriend, he’s just the guy we roll around in the sheets with from time to time. The only moment we should be thinking about him is when it’s 1 a.m. on a Friday, we’re wearing our hot lingerie underneath our dress and have had one too many martinis.

2. Be up front and honest.
Casual hookups involve no commitment, which means both parties are allowed to see other people. However, they should be very up front and honest about it, especially if they’re also sleeping with these people. This is a health issue, and a serious one at that! Women expect that if our casual hookup is sleeping around, he will tell us up front so that we can make up our own minds whether or not that’s cool with us. We’re not going to get all jealous, psycho-girlfriendy on him, so there’s no reason for him to lie or omit this really important information.

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4 thoughts on “How Women View the Casual Hookup (And the Rules We Want Men to Follow)

  1. The gist of the article seems to be–just be upfront about it. Which is what we’ve been telling you ladies all along. Just tell us what you want. You’re a helluva lot less likely to get what you want when you “drop subtle hints” or play games. In order to get what you want, know what you want and ask for it!

  2. Was the research for this piece seeing “No Strings Attached”?

    The idea that FBNYC is writing on behalf of most women is silly. The poll on this website now (25 whole respondents!) does not support her assertions.

  3. I’m in a NSA relationship and this article is right on. The guy calls or texts me and I’m totally expecting a hook up but he just wants to talk. So I told him uh-uh, no talking to me unless it’s to set up a time and place. I hate that he wants more because he’s ruining good thing for me.

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