ASK REAL GUYS
In the Dog House
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: My boyfriend and I have been living together for one and half years, and everything was fine until his boss died. I could not get off work, but I attended the wake as soon as I was off the clock and stayed for three hours. I couldn’t get off work for the funereal so I tried to make it out to the luncheon afterwards. My boyfriend was furious at me for not attending, so he waited until I showed up at the luncheon and then he left. We haven’t talked for days, and we sleep in separate bedrooms now. He called me a selfish bitch because – according to him – all the other wives seemed to be able to get off work to support their husbands. He said he doesn’t know if he wants to be together anymore. I asked him if he was going to move out then, and he said he will move when he wants to and that he wants to see me walk on broken glass for a while for not attending. What do I do?
Avery: It sounds like your boyfriend had never told you how he felt about his boss or how important it was for you to be there with him at a difficult time, and it sounds like he’s suffering some humiliation that other wives and girlfriends were there, but you weren’t. You need to explain to him how much you care about him and ask him if he can move forward. If he can’t, then he sounds like a pretty shallow guy and you’ll just be waiting for the next “incident” for him to hold against you. The question to really pose to him is how you’re supposed to know how he feels if he doesn’t tell you. And if you have a difficult job that makes it challenging to just leave on a moment’s notice, then you need to make sure he FULLY understands what that means