Woman to Women
How to keep playing the field when dating loses its luster
By: Jessica Love
It’s Friday night, and you have a date with your third new guy this month. Trying to muster up some excitement, you slip on your sexy heels and pull out your “go get him” lip gloss. But honestly, you’re just not all that excited.
What’s up with that?
I’ve got a theory: Women have achieved complete independence and self-sufficiency. We no longer need men to take care of us; we can take care of ourselves, live our own lives and be our own individual people. And, so, we can also hold out for the man of our dreams.
After many dates that never result in any kind of lasting relationship, the individuality of a man becomes blurred by the stereotypical male characteristics he fulfills. You no longer see the unique lines of his face or hear the sweet intonation in his voice; you see the classic male “look” that he appears to have (he’s the “Abercrombie” type or the skater guy; perhaps the corporate ex-frat boy, etc.). Single women continually date, seeking something different but inevitably feeling that, at the end of many a night, they’re all the same. Sure, he was a good kisser, but so were many others who left the front porch and never turned back. Yes, he acted gentlemanly, but anyone can behave themselves for a few short hours.
So what is it that keeps us dating when it’s lost its thrill, when we become – dare I say it – jaded? Perhaps it’s that gleam of individuality that, when we are tuned into it, can equate to a great, lasting and meaningful relationship based on an unprecedented connection. But we can only tune in if we desire to do so. In a world where people constantly let us down and trust is hard to come by, we have to want to believe someone good is out there, someone with whom we can truly connect. We have to remind ourselves to soften up a little. Mind you, this is not a suggestion to be a pushover or put up with crappy behavior from a mediocre guy. Just allow yourself to feel. Then – and only then – will you stop seeing a colorless silhouette and sensing a heart that beats beneath the exterior.