Lack of Intimacy

What Would Debbie Do? Lack of Intimacy Dear Debbie, Since the birth of our daughter, 21 years ago, my husband and I have not been intimate. We have both been busy and exhausted. We still love each other. About three years ago, he got erectile dysfunction due to diabetes. He tried some medication, but it’s […]

What Would Debbie Do?

Lack of Intimacy

Dear Debbie,

Since the birth of our daughter, 21 years ago, my husband and I have not been intimate. We have both been busy and exhausted. We still love each other. About three years ago, he got erectile dysfunction due to diabetes. He tried some medication, but it’s not helping him. He has made no attempts to remedy the situation, and when I bring up the subject, he just remains silent. I know he has activities with other women and he likes to watch porno movies on TV. What is a wife to do?

       —Dutiful Wife

Dear Dutiful Wife,

OK…let me get this straight: you haven’t been intimate in 21 years because you’ve been busy and exhausted? Excuse me?!? And now your husband has a medical issue that is getting in the way of your intimacy (or lack thereof), but you acknowledge he has “activities” with other women?

Sounds like you’ve accepted that your husband is cheating on you. And it also sounds like you’ve participated in the lack of intimacy throughout the years. What are you to do? How about starting with a frank discussion with your husband about the state of your relationship and how it’s become so unbalanced. Are you willing to live with a cheating husband who wants nothing to do with you? Because it sounds like his lack of interest has nothing to do with his ED if he is engaging other women right under your nose. You deserve better than this. Figure out what you want from this relationship…this situation is wholly unacceptable.


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