A new gel promises a tiny vaginy
Wondering what to get all those knocked up high school girls in Gloucester, Mass., for Christmas?
We found the perfect stocking stuffer:
This “tightening lubricant” promises to restore your vagina to pristine condition with just a few squirts.
As Feministing.com proclaims, “Now hating your genitals is easy, affordable and comes in packaging that looks like a cross between My Little Pony and White-Out!”
In a thoughtful nod to recapturing innocent girlhood, the “non-sticky” gel is strawberry scented.
Wow – my vagina feels tighter than ever! And smells sweet, too!
We’d be deeply shocked and offended if we weren’t ROFL over ridiculousness of the lame liquid gel promises. Still, it’s a pretty sad state of affairs when this is a real product and not some spectacular YouTube spoof.
On the bright side, we finally know what to buy for our hymenly-challenged love ones this holiday season.
Labia haters rejoice!