ASK REAL GUYS
Making the First Move
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I have recently become attracted to a man that I’ve known for seven months, so I have started to pursue him as a friend. We’ve spent time together at several social gatherings and we have been e-mailing back and forth. He is smart, funny, and I think I come across the same to him. He is 37 and I’m 45. I’ve been with him once in person, one-on-one, for two hours at his house and did my best to get physically close to him with flirting and such. Unfortunately I’m finding it hard to get him to do the same.
He has only experienced one serious relationship in his life which lasted six months, and I would love to get to the next level with him, without changing his life.
I’m not looking to marry or live with anyone, as I like my space. I just don’t know where to go from here because I’ve never made the first move and need something from him to go one to even try. Neither of us has much experience in the relationship department, and I am super shy. I have a feeling that he is self-conscious about his weight, but even then I can’t get that out of him. What should I do next?
Steven: Talk to him about it. I understand that you may be shy but it does not sound like he is stepping up and willing to talk about it. It sounds like you need to make the first move to discuss this. Otherwise, you can keep hoping that it will change and just maybe that hope will turn into reality. But then again, that hope could just be a waste of time. Generally good things can happen by having an open and honest conversation because this allows you to find out the truth about how he really feels. Then once you know the truth you can decide what makes the most sense for you or if you are just wasting your time.