Mean Betty: Angelina Jolie Broke Up More Than One Marriage!

Why does that not surprise us?
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Mean Betty: Angelina Jolie Broke Up More Than One Marriage!

Why does that not surprise us?

-Mean Betty

Angelina Jolie

Hello, my pets! As Mean Betty is sure you know, that zany little actress Angelina Jolie will be opening later this week in an “action drama” called Salt. From her observations of the “entertainment industry,” Mean Betty knows that an “action drama” means “heart-pounding” car chases, fiery explosions and hand-to-hand armed combat that the main character survives without a hair or lash out of place. The lesson from this is clear, my darlings: maximum-hold styling spray and waterproof mascara are so important.

And just as this cinematic landmark is about to be released comes a biography by British tabloid hack reporter Andrew Morton. In the book, wittily titled Angelina: An Unauthorized Biography, Morton tells us that Ms. Jolie, who allegedly suffers from anorexia, broke up another marriage beside Brad Pitt’s. Yes, it’s true! Would you expect a woman who once wore a vial of her boyfriend’s blood to break up just one marriage?

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Morton claims that Angelina’s 2003 affair with Ethan Hawke ended his marriage to well-known space cadet the uniquely idiosyncratic Uma Thurman. Ethan and Angelina hooked up on the set of Taking Lives, a “psychological thriller.” This, poppets, is a type of movie that has practically as many explosions and car chases as an “action drama,” except people talk more and are usually insane. What a perfect background for our happy couple!

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0 thoughts on “Mean Betty: Angelina Jolie Broke Up More Than One Marriage!

  1. I think there’s something really screwy about her, but at the same time she’s doing good work, so you can’t argue with that. Salt looks kind of ridiculous, though.

  2. I think she’s a little wacky, and hope those kids grow into normal adults although that seems too much to hope for…
    I wonder when she’ll announce the twins have developmental issues…due to her eating disorder…
    Also can’t wait to see how Salt does, since she gets 20 million a picture…is she really worth it…I wonder…

  3. I love that last line “If the Oscar committee ever gives a Lifetime Achievement Award for the best off-stage performance, Angelina Jolie will undoubtedly be the happy recipient.” SO TRUE.

  4. I like her and how come she is the marriage wrecker — what about these husband’s who can’t keep it in their pants – seriously, it is their responsiblity to remain faithful to their wives. It’s not like she put a gun to their head and made them do it. Just my two cents.

  5. I believe Angelina is not bad, as what reporter writes on tabs and this British, writer Mr. Norton. She might be wild on her teens, but not as bad as what people see on film and in her marriages. Many times on her interview, she deny the accusation, pertaining his leading men. If she had, she tells honestly. Like every body. she is intitled to have BF. After the divorce. Why make an issue. How can people believe, with a writer, never knew Angelina Jolie personally. Who writes about their personal life? If you accuse a person, you need facts. Angelina never afraid to face them and have right to sue. Many times,she said,never pay attention with the tabs. Beware, she is tough girl. She have no fear to face them in court. She is not a home wrecker, Brad is free. Can’t you blame him to fall in love with this beautiful, warm, loving,kind,and sweet woman. She never be on top of the list if she isnt. Brad is such a lucky man. Same with Angelina to find true love. Jen is happy that she is free and single again. They are all happy with their life now, so leave them alone. Not of our concern to intervine with their life and how they raise their kids. Every parent have their own ways of upbringing,when they grow up and become adult, they fallow their heart desire. No parent can say, do this and do that. All we can do, is pray every day, that the become good person and educated. Wish you all a peace day.

  6. Peacemaker…OMG I can’t belive all this you are saying. You ever seen Bundy talk and be so straight faced, well that is how’s it’d done. One the the worst serial killers this country ever had.
    She is tough alright no doubt about that! Has no conscience is what I call it. Hope she and Brad stay together though for all those kids! I wish him well.

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