Mean Betty: Brad Pitt Is DEAD?! Oh, Wait – It's Just Another Hoax (He's Fine!)

Thank goodness Brad Pitt is actually perfectly fine! Mean Betty investigates this latest of celebrity death hoaxes.

Mean Betty: Brad Pitt Is DEAD?! Oh, Wait—It’s Just Another Hoax (He’s Fine!)

Thank goodness Brad Pitt is actually perfectly fine! Mean Betty investigates this latest of celebrity death hoaxes.

-Mean Betty

Brad Pitt

Gasp! Can it be? Has Brad Pitt really met with a terrible fate? Oh, kittens! How horrible!!!!

…Except not really. The lovely Brad Pitt has simply been the victim of a celebrity death hoax. Mildly unfortunate, perhaps, but nothing more. Thank goodness!

Oh, but of course you want the full scoop, do you not? Very well, Meanie shall reveal all! On Monday, an article popped up on something called Global Associated News claiming that the actor had died following a snowboarding accident early that morning. “The actor & novice snowboarder was vacationing at the Zermatt ski resort in Zermatt, Switzerland with family and friends,” the article said; “witnesses” indicated that Brad lost control of his board and struck a tree. The article went on to say that Brad had been airlifted to a local hospital, though it was “believed that the actor died instantly from the impact of the crash.” He had supposedly been wearing a helmet at the time of the accident, and drugs and alcohol did not appear to play a part in it.

But here’s the thing, kittens: Global Associated News isn’t an actual news site. Going to brings you to this lovely-looking page:

Global Associated News

Read Mean Betty: Justin Bieber Has a Potty Mouth!

That’s right—the whole site is a hoax generator for the amusement of the general public. Meanie has yet to understand why it is that some people find it so enormously entertaining to start terrible rumors about living human beings (although she does something of a kick out of the description that using the hoax generator is “so easy even a Lohan could do it.” Excuse Meanie her uncouthness); and yet for some reason, it seems that one has not truly “made it” as a celebrity until one has become the subject of such a rumor.

To be fair, the Brad Pitt article does have a disclaimer at the bottom of it which reads as follows:

“about this web site. FAKE… THIS STORY IS 100% FAKE! this is an entertainment website, and this is a totally fake article based on zero truth and is a complete work of fiction for entertainment purposes! this story was dynamically generated using a generic ‘template’ and is not factual. Any reference to specific individuals has been 100% fabricated by web site visitors who have created fake stories by entering a name into a blank ‘non-specific’ template for the purpose of entertainment. For sub-domain info, name removal requests and additional use restrictions:”

Unfortunately, though, the hive mind has a tendency to overlook the small print in the face of such tragic-sounding stories. Indeed, this disclaimer failed to stop what E! Online called a “firestorm” from burning up the Twittersphere faster than the butler can shake up his signature martini (speaking of, Butler dear, do you mind? Thank you!).

At least the hoax was quickly revealed—and at least it wasn’t as odd as that exceedingly bizarre Jon Bon Jovi death hoax that appeared on “DailyNewBlogInternational” last winter. We’re glad to know that you’re safe and well, Brad! Do us (and Angelina and the six little kiddiewinks) a favor and stay that way, please!


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