Mean Betty on Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' Inevitable Divorce

Oh, kittens! Kim Kardashian has finally filed for divorce from Kris Humphries! What made the marriage fall apart? Mean Betty has some ideas...

Mean Betty on Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’ Inevitable Divorce

Oh, kittens! Kim Kardashian has finally filed for divorce from Kris Humphries! What made the marriage fall apart? Mean Betty has some ideas…

-Mean Betty

Kim K Kris Humphries

Raise your hands if you saw this one coming, kittens: Little Miss Kim Kardashian is officially filing for divorce from her hubby of a mere 72 days, the somewhat hapless Mr. Kris Humphries. Are you surprised? Of course not. Are you psychic? Don’t be silly. Are you merely a keen student of celebrity culture and reality television? Well, of course you are! And you’re in good company, kittens, because Meanie is too. And Meanie bets that we’re all wondering the same thing: Out of the many, many possible reasons this “marriage” didn’t work, which one was the proverbial nail in the coffin? Let’s investigate a little further, shall we?

There have been hints that all was not well in Humpdashian paradise almost since the wedding itself. Perhaps the first sign was their abbreviated honeymoon and the amount of Humphries-less travel that Kim did directly following it. Then there were the reports that Kim’s sisters didn’t like Kris. Then there were the rumors that Kim actually “cast” her husband—and that Kris was far from her first choice (Meanie suspects that this might account for the speed of the courtship and subsequent wedding). And, of course, then there was Kim’s comment that her newlywed living situation was “not ideal”—a loaded phrase if ever there was one.

And, interestingly, there is also this: As is to be expected, the glorious gossip mongers at TMZ broke the news first, and according to them, the major point of contention in the marriage came down to location. Kris, you see, eventually wanted to settle in his home state of Minnesota—but L.A.-born-and-bred Kim wasn’t willing to do that. Her reasons? Not wanting to leave her family… not wanting to leave her career (because apparently L.A. is the only place where she can actually have a career)… possibly being too snobbish to live anywhere other than L.A…. the possibilities are endless. But whatever the reason, Meanie wonders why on Earth those two children couldn’t have figured that out before the wedding. You know: the $10 million televised wedding. Yes. That one. Quel dommage, n’est-ce pas, kittens?

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However, Meanie’s best guess as to why the marriage was doomed—which, Meanie bets, is your best guess as well, kittens—does not rely on location. Rather, Meanie’s theory brings it all back to that most dreadful of things, the evil known as reality television. Even if the rumors that Kim actually went so far as to cast her husband aren’t true (though Meanie suspects that they are), the relationship was still always for show. Furthermore, unlike Kim and the rest of the Kardashians, Kris isn’t native to the reality television world, which was no doubt a major hurdle in the Kardashian-Humphries union—and one that they apparently were not able to overcome.

In spite of herself, Meanie can’t help but feel bad for poor Kris. Yes, one might wag one’s finger at him for agreeing to go along with it all in the first place—surely such a person is only after fame himself, correct? But at the same time, Meanie also believes that Kris didn’t fully comprehend what it would mean to be a part of the Kardashian family. As such, he was woefully unequipped to deal with it. A life in the public eye? Cameras around constantly? A total lack of privacy? Always—always—playing second fiddle to your wife’s overwhelming fame? How terrible! Can you think of a more depressing existence, kittens? Because Meanie can’t, and that’s the truth.

Ah well. At least Kim and Kris figured out early on that the marriage wasn’t built to last; just think how terrible it might have become had they held on five, ten, or twenty angry, bitter years instead of just 72 scant days! Though again, Meanie wonders why they couldn’t have arrived at that conclusion before spending such a whopping great sum on a disgustingly lavish wedding. Because really, kittens—who does that?!

Oh, right. The Kardashians do. Meanie should really stop being surprised by these things, no? Eh bien!



Mean Betty

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