Mean Betty: Poor Beyoncé! No Little Baby Accessory for Her … Yet
Soon, honey. Soon you will get to be like JLo.
Quel dommage! The world is yet again disappointed. Turns out that the lovely Beyoncé isn’t with child after all. At least, that’s if Beyoncé’s mother is to be believed. Alas! How can we bear the frustration? We are all clearly obsessed with the notion of Beyoncé and a baby bump. Why? Who knows. We are not logical people.
But the biggest tragedy of this whole thing, Mean Betty feels, is that Beyoncé will have to wait just that much longer for all the fun of being displayed, triumphant, in her “POST BABY BIKINI BODY!” Such Photoshopped extravaganzas are clearly de rigueur for a celebrity woman these days to claim her rightful place in the A List.
And of course, sadly, Beyoncé will be deprived even longer of getting to participate in delightful photo shoots using her baby as the cutest little prop … why just look at how much fun Jennifer Lopez in having in these new Gucci ads!
Oh what’s that, kittens? J Lo doesn’t look like she’s having very much fun? The babies look like they are having a blast, but mommy looks like she’s channeling a bad ‘80s supermodel?
Look, kittens, the important thing here is to remember that Jennifer Lopez may be a mom, but she is STILL SEXY.
Here the children seem to be a little more pensive. Perhaps they are pondering the fierce expression on mommy’s face? Or why they are sitting on the sand with no blankie? There are many mysteries of the universe …
(Kittens, Mean Betty has to tell you, Mean Betty just showed these photos to a certain gentleman friend and he’s certain the whole thing is a parody. Mean Betty cannot convince him otherwise!)
Oh Beyoncé, dearest, your time will come. Don’t fret. Just practice your sexy mama pout, and practice sucking in your tummy. Your day for the ultimate celebrity female accessory will surely come soon!