Mean Betty: Teen Mom Amber Portwood Should Get an Emmy, Not Arrested!
Why isn’t this little publicity machine up for TV Mom of the Year?
The early news was so troubling this morning, Mean Betty didn’t know whether to hide under the covers or have the butler buttle over a triple something-or-other to her bedside. Mean Betty is completely taken aback and puzzled as to how such a lovely individual as MTV’s Teen Mom Amber Portwood could end up in jail on felony domestic abuse charges.
Really! Just because Amber pummeled, slapped, punched and used boyfriend Gary as an exercise bag?! That’s nothing but good TV, kittens. Consider this: Each MTV Teen Mom makes $60,000 per season. Since they only make $5K an episode, Amber, Maci and the crew have to be newsworthy! Otherwise bye-bye salary (pitiful though it may be), magazine covers, freebies and fame. Amber and those other poor deprived kids would then have to leave the reality show world and live real lives! Can you imagine not having every moment filmed? Poor things.
What oh what is the world coming to? Mean Betty thought it was understood that the minute one becomes famous, the basic rules of etiquette and the law don’t apply. Yes, we’re looking at you Charlie Sheen. After all, didn’t Amber do the same thing to Gary that Charlie did to his “date?” The State of Indiana’s prosecutors are charging Amber with Neglect of a Dependent (oops, Amber’s baby was in the room), two felony counts of domestic battery and one misdemeanor count of domestic battery for three separate incidents … don’t they understand that’s what we call “great press”?!
In fact — doesn’t Amber now deserve a raise? We all know that MTV likes to reward bad behavior with a good salary. The Jersey Shore “cast” is proof of that!
While Amber can no longer see her daughter Leah (the court issued a “no contact” order against her, obviously not understanding the needs of reality cameras!), Mean Betty sure that MTV will come to Amber’s rescue with her very own spin-off show. “Teen Mom Amber in Jail” could get them — and her — an Emmy!