ASK REAL GUYS
Moving In Together
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: My boyfriend (49) and I (43) have been together for two years. We are in love and get along great. I’ve suggested moving in together and other couples are constantly asking us – “When are you two FINALLY moving in together?” My boyfriend hasn’t really said yes or no. I’m a little concerned that he is not ready. How much more do I bug him? What else can I say? We do not live that close and only get to see each other one to two times a week. Perhaps I should move closer to him? But then again, this seems a little desperate and might make him feel resentful.
Steven: By “bugging” him, does that mean you have talked about it, or just hinted to it? Before you think about whether or not moving in together is good for your relationship, I think that you should consider talking to him about this first. Ask for what you want in a clear and direct way. If he says no, ask him, “What would need to happen for you to change your mind?” By getting clarity around this issue, you might find that you are a lot closer to what you want than you realize.