When I started a new job a few months ago, my main concern wasn’t trying to fit in with the corporate culture, impressing my bosses or figuring out how to become as proficient as possible. All I cared about was asking the cute, blue-eyed girl in the center cube out on a date.
Each morning I’d strategize the best way to ask her out, only to wuss out. Since I was the “new guy” and barely knew her, I didn’t have the balls to just walk over to her in front of our co-workers and ask her to hang out. So, I ripped off a scene from Wedding Crashers and left a post-it on the blue-eyed beauty’s desk one night after she and her cube-mates left. The post-it read: Drinks after work tomorrow? Yes, No, Maybe – with a box next to each potential answer.
Unfortunately, Blue-eyes’ first reaction to my childish attempt at flirting, as overheard by my friend who sits near her: “Is this a prank?”
After considering the best way to play this out, I finally just went over to her desk and told her I left the post-it. She smiled and told me she didn’t take the note seriously, at first. But I did, and I asked her to respond and return it to cube #177, as per the instructions. So just before the five o’clock exodus, she came by and told me she couldn’t hang out that night, but suggested that “we should all do drinks sometime.” Well, after just one drunken night out with her and the rest of the gang, I got the old, “Nice try, Slugger, maybe next time” and decided to give up the chase. Now it’s only minimally awkward when we pass each other in the hall.
But the awkwardness I feel whenever I see Blue-eyes these days is nothing compared to the bizarre situation my co-worker, Matthew, 26, found himself in. Matthew is currently dating a girl he works with (let’s call her “Ellen”). But before that, he dated a different girl from the office (“Lauren”), who we all still work with, as well. Matthew hooked up with Lauren two years before I started working at the agency and she was his dream girl, except for one minor problem: She had a boyfriend.
“I hung out with her a lot,” says Matthew. “We had lunch together every day and we used to hang out after work a couple nights a week. I finally told her how I felt after we went to a Giants game together.”
Lauren responded by telling Matthew their time together “felt like a dream,” but she already had a boyfriend she wasn’t willing to part with. A few days later, for her birthday, Matthew gave her a CD with a song he dedicated to her. “After that, things got pretty weird,” he says. “She stopped talking to me, even though I told her I wasn’t expecting anything. I gave her the CD for closure more than anything else.”