Perils of the Comfort Factor
Knowing when it’s time to bolt
By: Reed Walton
A lot of women will sabotage their chance at a better relationship by giving in to the comfort of what is familiar. Here are a few tips to help you determine whether you’re stuck in a comfort rut:
You’re constantly embarrassed about things your partner does in public. Remember when you first started dating and thought it was endearing when he repeated every one of his own one-liners under his breath after he said it? Or how hilarious it was that he could belch your name? Yeah, your friends don’t either. If you’re making excuses for him – or even worse, making fun of him – in public, that’s a huge passive-aggressive tip-off that you’re fed up with this particular couplehood.
You have an inner monologue of complaints. Whether or not you’re telling your partner out loud what bugs you about him, monitor the amount of time you spend complaining about him to yourself. Not only is behind-the-back muttering, eye-rolling and pouting a sign of poor communication, but it can be an indicator that you’re not really acknowledging that the relationship isn’t in its best spot.
You’re having emotional affairs. Ever find yourself randomly pouring your heart out to the UPS delivery guy at work, all the while reluctant to talk about your problems to the main guy in your life? If you notice that you often weigh the prospect of having to talk with your guy – because it would mean having an involved discussion – with the idea of conversing with him in one-syllable words until you can go to bed and then unload on your girlfriends the next day, you may have a comfort problem.