The Tipping List
5 tips for keeping friends after baby
By: Janya Veranth
Having a baby can do a doozy on your friendships. Sure, it’s easy to stay close to the friends who are now part of your playgroup, but it’s not as simple to stay bonded to childless friends who aren’t exactly jazzed about hearing about your child’s latest all-night crying jag or what percentile Junior ranked in height and weight at the pediatrician’s office.
Here are 5 tips for bonding with your girlfriends post-baby:
1. Drop a line: In this day and age of techno-overload, nothing is more thoughtful than a note sent by postal mail. A handmade card, pretty stationery or just a sticky note with your own penmanship is a sweet and sincere way to let your friend know you’re thinking of her. Even though you may not see each other as much as you once did, she’ll be thrilled to know you haven’t forgotten about her.
2. You’ve got to make time for friends: If you and your girlfriends have always been happy-hour aficionadas, you may have to switch things up if nights on the town don’t fit into your new-mommy routine. Try meeting up for brunch or for a café lunch, where you can sip mimosas and reminisce about the old days.
3. Keep a clamp on the baby talk: If you’re the new mom, don’t spend all your time talking about your kid; nobody but his grandma wants to hear all about the cute and brilliant things he’s doing these days (and if you’re the career girl, try to keep work-related talk to a minimum).
4. Cultivate new friends: Just because you’re a mommy doesn’t mean you’ll always have things in common with other mommies, but try to make some new girlfriends who have children the same age as your child. You and your child will both benefit from the interactions with new friends who have similar interests and are going through the same phases. Besides, who couldn’t use a three-martini play date?
5. Be yourself, not just “Mom”: Remember who you were before you were Mom, and bring that person into your relationship with your friend. She loves you for you.