In her Words
Secret Single Behavior
Things I miss since I married
One of my favorite moments of the day takes place after the alarm goes off at 6 a.m.
I wait until my husband gets up and turns on the shower. And then I make my move – I wiggle to the center of the bed, place the back of my head between the two pillows and stretch my arms and legs as far as they can go.
This is the way I used to sleep years ago, when I was still single and had the bed to myself. It was a time when I didn’t have to put up with stolen covers or a tidal wave of snores in the middle of the night.
I actually like being married. It has many wonderful perks, such as coming home to a guy who always makes me dinner, and being greeted by an eager toddler who throws his warm little hands around my shins. It’s nice to have someone who will wrap their legs around you while you watch TV, who will be your date, your confidant, for life.
But I have to tell you, that “secret single behavior” – the odd little pleasures that Carrie from Sex and the City highlighted so eloquently – goes out the door once you get married.
In one particular episode, Carrie talks about the secret things she does when no one else is around. She confesses to her friends that she likes to make stacks of crackers with jelly and eat them while she’s standing at the kitchen counter. Why standing? “I dunno, it just feels great,” she says.
For me, it was eating ice cream straight out of the container, in front of the television. Sometimes I would forgo dinner in favor of a dry bowl of cereal followed by an ice cream orgy.
There’s no way I’d get away with that now. My husband, a three-squares-a-day, “eat your ice cream in a bowl” kind of guy, would be appalled if he saw me digging into a giant tub of Edy’s Slow Churned. He’d lecture me at length that it’s not only unsanitary to keep putting my dirty spoon into the ice cream, but messy, if I decided to haul my treat to the couch.
And what kind of example would I be setting for my toddler, a kid who thinks it’s okay to eat with his hands and lick the sink?
When you live alone, you can do almost anything you want, provided it doesn’t scare or wake up your neighbors. You can eat junk for dinner, stare at your pores in the mirror or watch a DVD at 11:30 p.m. if you can’t sleep. Or hog the bed. But once you start living with someone, all of those secret habits are suddenly exposed. Even scarier: You have to put up with your partner’s idiosyncrasies.
My husband likes to leave the socks he’s worn all day by the mirror in our bedroom. I have no idea why he does this. It also takes him an hour to brush his teeth. I often wonder what it is about flossing and gargling that makes him so damn happy.
He’d probably shrug and tell me, “I dunno. It just feels great.”