Serena Took An Axe And Gave Them 30 Whacks… Oh Noes, Gossip Girl Murders!

Blair and Serena running around the UES as serial killers? Say it ain't so Gossip Girl!

Serena Took An Axe And Gave Them 30 Whacks…Oh Noes, Gossip Girl Murders!

Blair and Serena running around the UES as serial killers? Say it ain’t so Gossip Girl!

-Diana Denza

gossip girl pyscho killer

I don’t really know what to say about this one, ladies. I’m slightly horrified at the prospect of a psycho killer Serena and an Upper East Side littered with bloody corpses, but Halloween is coming and I’m quite the horror aficionado.

In this retelling of the series’ first novel, renamed Gossip Girl: Pyscho Killer for those hip downtown kids, readers will be subjected to a clinically insane Serena (she still dons her usual designer duds and flowing blond locks -some things never change) intent on stabbing everyone in sight into a bloody pulp…or just melting their faces off. No big.

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Meanwhile, feisty Blair seeks ways to compete with her BFF (again, some things never change) and make the bombshell killing machine look like a toddler wielding a plastic knife. If you’re looking for juicy gossip and hot guys, you’ll get it. That is, until the gossipers are axed and the guys’ skulls are bashed in. So, instead of dirty martinis, think Bloody Marys (with actual blood) instead. Good thing that red is in this season.

Part of me wants to tell my gal pals to go buy this tome for old time’s sake. Who knows what’ll happen to poor, darling Cecily von Ziegesar once her show finally dies. How unpopular is GG these days? Well kiddos, just days after the line was flogged in stores, it showed up on HauteLook’s flash sale site at 40 percent off. Ouch.

If you’re a gore buff, Gossip Girl fan (you’re rarer than unicorns these days!), or vampire, you can pick up Gossip Girl: Pyscho Killer ($6.46, amazon.com). That’s 41 percent off the cover price, so we’re not talking ritzy Manhattan prices.

Diana Denza is a regular contributor to BettyConfidential.


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