Sex Talk: 8 Bedroom Warning Signs

The importance of bedroom etiquette -- what he does in the sack translates into how he'll act out of it.

Sex Talk: 8 Bedroom Warning Signs

The importance of bedroom etiquette — what he does in the sack translates into how he’ll act out of it.

-Julia Austin

 sex talk

Everyone wants an orgasm. They can be so great that your brain stops working for a minute — but for some guys, their brains just don’t seem to work at all in the bedroom. Have you ever dated a guy who you really liked but when you finally slept together he did something that was a little … off? Usually we tell ourselves “guys can be that way about sex.” We tell ourselves it was just their animal instincts taking over and that we shouldn’t hold it against them. But there is a huge error in this thinking. You should absolutely hold it against a guy when he [fill in the blank here with a time you were made to feel far less than a lady]. The way a guy is in the bedroom actually exposes a lot about what you can expect from him everywhere else in life. I’ve put together lists of actions that should make you either want to go for round two or take your condums to better pastures.

1. If a guy passes out immediately after sex and puts in zero cuddle time, he will probably forget your needs at other times too. He might forget to ask you if you want a drink when you’re out. He might forget to introduce you to his friends when you run into them. He might forget to pick you up food when he picked some up for himself.  He might, in fact, just forget about you all together.

2. If a guy is guilty of jack rabbit sex–and you know what that is–he probably doesn’t pay his bills on time either. Face it, he’s still a boy.

3. If a guy doesn’t stop making advances when you tell him to stop, he will probably be a cheater. He clearly can’t control his impulses.

4. If a guy gets dressed and leaves the room to go hang out with his roommates or friends in the kitchen so that you have to shamefacedly walk out alone with sex hair after him, rather than waiting for you to get dressed and walk out together, he probably was in a fraternity.

5. If a guy performs absolutely zero foreplay, don’t expect him to be the “stop and smell the roses” type. He is about efficiency, not artistry.

6. If a guy throws a towel at you after he … you know … on your stomach rather than wiping you off, slap him.

7. If a guy ever pushes your head in that direction, see situation #2.

8. If a guy insists you look him in the eyes during sex (I know, it seems romantic but…) he is either the needy type or the controlling type. The controlling type wants to see your reaction to hi his “performance” on your face. The needy type constantly fears he likes you more than you like him, and sex is one of the few times he feels he completely has you—he wants to get the most out of it.

Now just keep a paper and pen next to your bed to take notes.

Tell us: What’s your biggest bedroom no-no?

Julia Austin is a freelance writer living in Los Angeles. She covers travel, lifestyle and love+sex for a number of media outlets including Discovery’s PlanetGreen, LipGlossCulture.com, and QuickieChick.com, a site dedicated to giving busy women quick and easy workouts, recipes and lifestyle tips to better their body and mood. When she isn’t writing she is planning her next trip or sharing dating stories with her friends at happy hour.


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