What Would Debbie Do?
Sexless in the Marriage
I haven’t had sex with my husband in 9 months. He is an over-the-road truck driver and he comes home maybe once every 3 or 4 months. He could come home more but he doesn’t. He says he has an erectile function problem, but he gets meds for it that he is constantly refilling on the road but claims he sells them to other drivers. When he does come home he doesn’t even try to have sex with me. I think this man is lying and cheating and I’m ready to move on with my life. What advice can you give me?
Dear Intuitive Wife,
Clearly, your husband seems disinterested in you and the family life you both share. But while it would appear that he’s engaged somewhere else, I advise you to get to the heart of the matter before you abruptly move on.
Have a frank discussion about his life on the road, his desire for intimacy, and his commitment to you and your family, if there are children. If you feel he’s evading the questions, you’ll have to make a judgment call about staying.
Sometimes, men have a difficult time expressing their fears, inadequacies, and their needs. If this is the problem, you can create a better relationship by joining with him, and trying to understand his issues. But if he’s just a deceiver, well, then, I don’t have to tell you what to do.