Snooki’s Weight-Loss Secret Is Vodka
Snooki revealed her weight-loss secrets on The Tonight Show, and they’re a little more surprising than we thought they’d be.
When everyone’s favorite bright orange Hobbit appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night, a topic of great discussion was her recent dramatic weight loss. Now, I may find Snooki ridiculous, but she has been looking healthier lately (even if she still looks kind of tacky), so bravo to her for making an effort to get into shape. When she started to walk Jay through her weight-loss regime, though, things got ridiculous again rather quickly indeed. Her three necessities for getting into shape? Motivation, going to the gym, and watching what you drink. The first two points are fairly self-explanatory, but since this is Snooki we’re talking about, the last point might require a little elaboration. Here we go:
Alcohol is empty calories. We all know this. So when someone says that they’re watching what they drink, you generally assumed that this means that they’re trying not to drink so much, correct? But Snooki has a rather unique definition of “watching what you drink.” According to her, it means “no Margaritas or Long Island iced teas; it has to be straight vodka.”
Ladies and gentlemen, the revolutionary new Snooki Diet will apparently enable you to lose a ton of weight while subsisting solely on Absolut. There’s just one small problem: If this were true, the world would cease to function, because everyone would be completely smashed all the time.
Anyway, she then goes on to credit Italy’s food with helping her lose weight—namely, its pasta, because according to Snooki, eating pasta in Italy is exactly like eating salad in America.
Unpack that sentence for a moment. Does it make sense to you? Yeah, me neither. She elaborates on her statement by saying that the pasta in Italy is “really fresh and, like, healthy,” but I have news for you Snooki: Fresh or boxed, carbs are still carbs. Now, I do love me some carbs, but loving carbs does not magically turn them into vegetables. Ergo, pasta is not equal to salad. QED.
I obviously have my own views about the effectiveness and general health of the Snooki Diet, but I’m curious: What do you think, readers? Would the Snooki Diet work for you? Check out the entire interview here and let us know!
Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s associate editor.