In her Words
Why do we frown upon women who choose babies over the boardroom?
By: Mayra David
It’s not like we don’t know women can do anything they set their mind to. It may have been a well-kept secret in the past, but the jig is pretty much up by now.
Recently, a friend announced that she’s pregnant. From her smile, I could see congratulations were in order. Sadly, she said, some friends and family were extremely disappointed – her grandmother had even stopped talking to her!
Here’s the situation: This couple have been together more than seven years. They’re responsible and intelligent. Though they’re not legally married, they’ve always been committed to each other, and their families have always been supportive of that. Children before marriage is not the issue – having children at her “young age” (27) is the cause of this family friction. Her grandmother had such high hopes for her only granddaughter, envisioning her as a career woman and a world traveler. But my friend saw herself as a mother and a homemaker above everything else.
Admittedly, my own knee-jerk reaction was, what a waste. But on examining this, I wondered, a waste of what? A career? My friend never found work she loved. Most of us Gen X’ers assume we must have a career, children notwithstanding. I had to reconcile myself with this modern city girl “giving it all up” and depending wholly on her partner for financial support.
Being a woman is a double-edged sword: Be a career woman, but don’t forget to have kids. Have kids, but not while you’re young – but not too late, either … tick, tick, tick! Of all our options, where does stay-at-home, young, urban motherhood fit in?