My Favorite Saying
The Clown of Love
Searching for a better kind of love
By: Katie Egan
Do they still call it infatuation? That magic ax that chops away the world in one blow, leaving only the couple standing there trembling? Whatever they call it, it leaps over anything, takes the biggest chair, the largest slice, rules the ground wherever it walks, from a mansion to a swamp, and its selfishness is its beauty… People with no imagination feed it with sex — the clown of love. They don’t know the real kinds, the better kinds, where losses are cut and everybody benefits. It takes a certain intelligence to love like that — softly, without props. -Toni Morrison, Love
Infatuation. Don’t we all too often “feed it with sex”? And is this physical affection really just a “clown” of love? I don’t know whether to be offended or to nod my head in epiphany. Maybe Toni’s really on to something here. Let’s see… loving without props means loving without pretense, without games, without doubt… WITHOUT SEX! How many of us can really say that we’ve loved this way? Romantically, that is. I’ve really loved only once in my life, and it was far from propless: lying, cheating, high drama and a whole lot of sex. One might say that “soft” is not the first word that comes to mind.
So how do we find this better kind of love? This love where losses are cut and everybody benefits? I have a feeling the answer is simple: We don’t. It finds us.
Tell us: Have you mistaken infatuation for love?