The Value of Women Friends
By: Lois Requist
In Sex and the City, when Carrie Bradshaw has gone to Paris with a lover and it’s not going well, Mr. Big (a former love interest) meets with her three friends, who tell him, “Go get our girl.” In a rare moment of “getting it,” Mr. Big realizes that the friendship between the women is what endures. He says something like, “If I can only have a part of what you have.”
I perhaps didn’t get that point in my years of being a stay-at-home Mom. Eventually, my children grew up and I went back to work. I was director of a chamber of commerce when my husband became ill.
When I was leaving the job, a woman that I knew said, “We have to stay in touch.” We formed a Ladies’ Lunch Bunch, agreeing to meet once a month. There’s a 20-year age span in the group. Three are married and four are single.
We’ve been lunching now for 15 years. In that time, spouses have died, children have married, and grandbabies have been born. Careers have changed. Some of us have moved.
When my husband was slowly and painfully dying, I went with the group to the beach near Santa Cruz, California. They didn’t talk the whole time about his impending death, though we all knew. But each one found a moment to squeeze my hand, or talk with me, or in some other way let me know that they were there for me and would be, whatever came next.
We spent a weekend in New York City celebrating two of our members turning 50. We spend many weekends together. We drink wine, have wedding and baby showers, and fill the dance floors at parties.
Whatever else is going on in our lives, we get together, and share it. We laugh and cry and argue. It’s a safe place, where we can be ourselves. When we go our own ways, we are stronger for the time together. These are relationships that matter.