Woman to Women
This or Something Better
Detaching from your desired outcome can bring you even more
By: Michele Woodward
There’s a fine line between being a dreamer and being a dictator. Because when you’re attached to a specific outcome, your single-minded drive toward your goal may make you blind to the feelings and needs of others.
Let’s say you want to change your life by starting your own business. You do the research, create a sound business plan, find a good opportunity, hire a lawyer and accountant, and draw up the legal papers. All good. You go so far as to envision what your first steps will be, how the place will feel, what each day will be like. Okay, you’re fine. Visualization is an excellent tool to direct you toward a positive outcome. But if you’re so in love with the idea of you as the owner of a particular business in a particular location that you can’t see the shortcomings, pitfalls and weaknesses of your plan, you may end up overruling your advisers and taking a deal that’s not really in your best interest. Because you made up your mind about how it’s going to be, and that’s what it’s going to be.
Honey, to reduce your stress and anxiety, you’ve got to hold on loosely to your intended outcome. Loose enough to be able to grab on to an unexpected outcome that’s even better than what you had in mind. You can do this when you form your intention, visualize your dream and then say:
“This or something better.”
“This or something better” versus “this is how it’s going to be” is being fluid versus being rigid. It’s being present right here, right now, aware of the truth in this moment versus being somewhere else, focused on what’s not yet happened – and may not happen – and totally unaware of the truth. It’s having arms wide open to serendipity versus arms crossed against the chest with much foot-stamping frustration.
Imagine lovingly whittling a hunk of wood into two parts: a square peg and a round hole. You can spend your lifetime attempting to insert the square peg you’ve created into the round hole you love, but how to get it to fit? You only have two options: reduce the size of the square until it fits into the hole or craft a new, larger, square hole.
When you detach from your outcome, it’s as if you’ve suddenly found a million unexpected holes into which the peg easily fits. When you have a good plan, execute it to the best of your ability and are open to whatever may happen next, you’ll be amazed by the beautiful, happy, unexpected opportunities that present themselves.